To That Special Ballet Teacher

To that special ballet teacher, who not only teaches you about technique, but helps build your confidence, nurtures your inner artist, raises the bar/re, pushes you to the next level (and the one after), encourages you time and again, corrects your mistakes, teaches you to correct yourself, praises and raises you... to be the best dancer you can be.

Ma chère professeur, dear Marie... I miss you already.

My New Year's Dance Solutions

1. Remain curious. Be open to new ideas, suggestions and corrections.

With ballet practice relying so much on repetition, it's easy to get settled into the same old routines. But developing your muscle memory is more than going through the motions. To make exercises into dance, you have to stay awake and alert. What is it that you're really doing? Are you applying all corrections as well as you could? Do you ever question and understand the mechanics of both your weaknesses and strengths? Do you attempt to self-correct, find new ways to improve? There is a lot of excellent dance literature and dance videos for additional study. Sometimes, it's also a good idea to seek out a new studio and teacher (you don't have to abandon your old one).

2. Take care of yourself

Get enough sleep, rest and enjoy a well-balanced diet. There are degrees of fatigue: feeling tired after a long day doesn't necessarily mean a bad class, in fact it's often the opposite - you leave feeling like a new person! But if you're tired all the time, haven't recovered from previous classes, muscles are heavy and sore, and you're low on energy... Then you're setting yourself up for disaster. Your brain doesn't communicate with your body as well as it should, fun challenges turn into frustrating obstacles, your positive attitude evaporates, and you even risk injury. I've been there, but I've also learned my lesson. For example: When I get home after my Wednesday evening class, I've only one hour to get ready for bed (if I want a full 8-hours of sleep). I have to unpack my bag, pick out new stuff for Thursday morning class, shower, eat and stretch. What not to do: log onto facebook, or any other social media. I love to share, like and comment, but it's very distracting! And after that last ballet class, I'm hyper enough as it is... You know the feeling?

3. Practice good habits

Practice does not make perfect, but practice makes habits - and good habits make you a good dancer! It starts at the beginning, which is why I like to take a weekly basic class. Slow and simple exercises give me time to focus on proper placement and line, and to improve tendus, pliés and turnout. Luckily, I have a teacher who does not make it easy for me. Just because I have studied ballet for over 20 years, doesn't mean everything is super clean (technically speaking). Far from it! I'm still working to fix quite a few not-so-nice habits (the recurring banana foot, and losing my turnout in ecarté). I love going back to the basics. Sometimes, it feels like being back on solid ground. To give myself an additional challenge, I do the class often on pointe.

4. Be a fearless learner

Focus, pay attention, apply yourself - but don't worry about making mistakes! True, you might not look very graceful on your first or even fifth attempt, and you might make a complete mess out of that complex pirouette... So what? It's not a competition, not an audition. And even in auditions, artistic directors look at how well you recover from mistakes or falls - the mistake itself is not such a big deal. Don't turn a failed pirouette diagonal or a bad day into an existential crisis. Your teacher wants you to learn, to do well and enjoy yourself. She/he knows that it takes many tries, failures and a lot of work. That's why s/he keeps correcting you, not to criticize but to help you. Fear less, dance more!

5. Make it interesting

Who wants to look at a boring dancer? Dare to dance big, to challenge yourself, to go boldly where you haven't danced before. Even when it's basic class tendus, every tendu is dance. It's always movement, never dead. Ballet school robots are not interesting, expressive dancers are. This includes your face and your eyes. Dance outside your bubble and let your eyes sparkle. Express your love of dance!

6. Bring a positive attitude to class

Ballet is hard. Don't make it harder on yourself, or others (this includes both your teacher and fellow students). Of course, you're allowed to have feelings, nobody is immune to frustrations or bad days... But keep in mind that negative moods can be contagious, and dampen the joy of others. Even your teacher can be affected - and all she/he wants is to give you a great class! It's also a waste of your valuable class time. Whenever you feel a negative mood lurking, try to postpone it until after class. With the risk of sounding like a kitchen psychologist: acknowledge the feeling, put it aside and move on. You can deal it with it later on. Either you forget all about it, or realize it wasn't a problem to begin with, or you can be proud of yourself for acting positive. Having said that, there are some problems you cannot shut out of class. If you're having a difficult time, and can barely manage (but class is still respite), say something to your teacher before class. You don't have to be a perfect student all the time. It's fine to do less, it's okay to take care of yourself.

7. Cultivate a positive body image

I've struggled with this, on and off. Not having a body that is considered "beautiful for ballet", despite all my passion and hard work. In this context, "beautiful for ballet" means a physicality that is suited for a professional career - and very few people are! But when you look at facebook, instagram and pinterest, it can seem that everybody out there has that beautiful ballerina body... Except you. My body type is short, sturdy, with square shoulders, wide hips, big thighs, big hands, muscular legs. I'm almost 47, and seem to have missed the memo where it says: "Start your upper body workout now and never ever take a day off!" There are wrinkles on my body which I've not noticed before. I've gained weight, again. It does affect my body confidence in class, no use lying about it. But ballet class is not a beauty pageant! Nowhere does it say my body is not suitable or pretty enough to learn ballet and enjoy myself! How well you dance does not depend on your body shape. A beautiful dancer is not born, but made - with hard work, discipline, musicality, artistry, and passion. When I see myself in the mirror, and feel less than confident and pretty, I try to remember this. Dance is movement, stories and moods told to music... There's so much beauty, right there.

8. Be grateful, stay humble

I never take my dancing for granted. I'm grateful for every class, even the hard ones. Especially the hard ones! I'm grateful that my teacher Marie has never lost patience, nor interest. After five years, hundreds of classes and thousands of corrections, she still takes care... And that means so much to me! Also my other teachers and classes... I've had some wonderful learning experiences last year, with Ophélie, Misha, Nicholas, Jarkko, Arja, Virve, Pattie, Minttu, and Dmitry, the best pianist ever. I'm looking forward to more hard work, to new and old challenges, to many mistakes, lots of corrections, single turns and sometime triples, balances and Balanchine steps, a bit of progress and a great deal of bliss.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Dancing Year!

Reaching out, to a Faraway Land . .

Scene: at the barre, final équilibre in arabesque. Our teacher is doing rounds and I´m the last student in line. I hold my pose until the end of the music, and then some - but there are a lot of students and I can feel my supporting leg cramping.. I need to come down and shake my legs, but there is no escaping Madame´s friendly scrutiny, so I quickly relevé up again, raise my leg into arabesque and let go of the barre. And just in time..

"Stretch your knees!" Check. "Point your toes, more!" Check. Then she hoists my leg up way higher, and okay, no problem,  I can do this. "Front arm further!" Check. I do as told, already going beyond the strictly academic, but it´s too high and not what she is asking for. "Further, more!", and seriously, I am not kidding you. So I try to reach out even more, short of popping my shoulder blade,  and trying hard not to topple off my center. 

I imagine myself yearning for someone (a prince, maybe?) or somewhere, even though there is no place I´d rather be right now. I let my front arm take me and my back leg hold me and.. there it is. Arabesque is not a static position, but a movement. There is energy going in every direction, into the floor and out of the tips of your fingers and the toes of your feet. You don´t just hold your pose, you tell a story..

Picture: Oliva Bell in Black Swan pas de deux. Photography Justin Smith

No More Spectator Ballet!

I used to take class six days a week, often 2 - 3 times per day. I could not have asked for more or wished for less. That, sadly, was a lifetime ago - or so it sometimes seems to me. Back then I was a young chick (as in current age -15 years) and had all the time I wanted and all the I energy needed. Now I have to plan each day ahead, go to bed on time, eat properly, stretch diligently and be altogether a sensible adult, just to enjoy my 90 minutes of ballet three times a week. If I get lucky. 

Lately there have been too many flu-, work- and dental emergency -related obstacles, all of which have been keeping me from my regular dose of ballet class. Instead I have been relegated to youtubing and blogging ballet, which is fun and all - but without the actual dancing it´s only spectator sports. Oh, and  a dancer friend of mine borrowed me the DVD of the Paris Opera Ballet documentary "La Danse". It is a very long film, and although it is all dance, and no special effects, you would need really good sitz-bones to last through a movie-theatre viewing! But I will post more about La Danse later. 

Now, back to classes and to not getting enough: I do know many adults who are happy to dance only twice a week, but that person is so not me! I know I need to practice a minimum of three times, just to maintain my level and strength. If I can, I like to train at least four times a week - otherwise it is pretty hard to advance and grow stronger! Last spring I took an average of 4-5 weekly ballet classes, in addition to our recital rehearsals. I loved how my body responded to the extra work! That is until my iliotibial band got inflamed from overtraining.. So there is that too. 

At this moment there is really only one class that I absolutely cannot and will not miss, and that is Friday´s advanced ballet (90 min) plus pointe (60 min) with Madame. If she would teach any more classes (to us adults), I would want to go to each and everyone. But she does not, and so my other classes are mainly chosen to fit my schedule, as there is not that much difference between teachers. Meaning they are all pros and know their stuff for sure, but not everyone can be a master teacher.. Mondays it´s intermediate ballet and Wednesdays advanced beginner class, both old-school Vaganova (a bit too old-school for my liking and previous training). Sundays I take the occasional intermediate at another studio, which is fun but not really that productive.

Looking at my meagre schedule now, I see that I somehow have to work in more classes. Our spring recital is approaching fast and I do not want go on stage ill-prepared! I need at least one more class which is challenging, energetic, fun, and where all the students get lots of personal corrections. Unfortunately (for me that is) my other favorite teacher is still on her maternity leave. Even if she hopefully returns this summer or fall, it does not help me right now. So, in addition to the 3-4 ballet classes, I plan to do some pilates and yoga, and once the snow and icebergs melt away, lots of power-walking outdoors. Not too much to risk injuries from overworking muscles, but enough to survive the few minutes I get to be on stage!

Yikes, it´s 10 pm already and I still have to sew one last elastic on my new ballet slippers! Also I have not stretched yet, and need to be in bed in less than one hour. I wish I could function with a mere six hours of shut-eye.. But tomorrow is ballet class again and the end of my spectator dancing. Yay for that!

Where is Terpsichore When You Need Her?

Darcey Bussell as Terspichore in Balanchine’s 'Apollo'

Photo by Bill Cooper

After last week´s you-did-well class it was only a matter of time before good times came to an end. It is how my learning curve in ballet works: I make some kind of breakthrough, enjoy the moment, then realize that the bar has just gotten higher, after which there´s the obligatory nothing-getting-better plateau, to be followed by the one-step-forward, two-steps-back, pirouettes crashing and mis-placed placement. Sure, I could put the lingering effects of the snivel on yesterday´s lackluster class performance - but truth be told, I was really just way out of my comfort zone!

Class was a lot more difficult this Friday. The pace was faster and the moves trickier, with the usual demand for absolutely clean technique - combined with some seriously dance-y port de bras. Our teacher gave us a lot of Balanchinean choreography to do, with emphasis on high extensions, speed and elongated lines. You can tell that Madame loves Balanchine´s style, and I sincerely believe that Mr. B himself would have appreciated her talent just as much. She has in fact danced the part of Terpsichore (in the ballet Apollo) and still looks like she could do a repeat-performance on the drop of a hat. 

Old me, on the other hand, hasn´t been visited by any dance-muses of late. Instead I feel the need to join my fellow ballet-blogger Adult Beginner in the Happy Sad Happy Sad  -song:

Happy we have Madame willing to go out of her way to teach a bunch of adult dancers Balanchine.
Sad I´m as far removed from such artistry as is Helsinki from New York.
Happy my arms are learning to "breathe" and elongate.
Sad they still look readier to swim than to swan.
Happy that my neck is long and that my bun looks credible.
Sad you cannot use special effects in class and paste my head onto a legit ballet body instead.
Happy that I have been called a "good girl" - in class - just the same.
Sad that my "girl"days and frothy-pink-tutu dreams are long since gone.
Happy to be a woman in black leggings learning how to dance en pointe.
Sad that my right foot looks sorry on pointe.
Happy that my left foot has been described as "nice" instead.
Happy I can take my talon á la main and stretch that leg up to the height of my head.
Sad it will never be 6 o´clock.
Happy that my heel has been promoted to a body part of importance.
Sad that the same heel does not wish to face forward and welcome the spotlight.
Happy that there is another class tomorrow.

You Did Well Today!

You may have noticed that I´ve been playing around with the look of my blog, changing title pictures, fonts and templates. That´s what four days of staying indoors will do to you - not only do I have the flu but I´m suffering from cabin fever as well. Not being able-bodied to dance is driving me up the wall! So, in the meantime you will be surprised and possibly irritated by ever changing blog templates. My apologies! I promise there will be a more final version soon, although I still reserve the right to change things whenever it gets too tired. Also, I am working on the content - it´s just that after last Friday´s class my brain did not cooperate anymore. Over the weekend I was  mostly asleep. That is when I was not watching episodes of Bones online.

Another discarded blog title banner:

But I do remember that Friday´s ballet was awesome! Despite a persistent tickle in the back of my throat and headache that was just announcing itself - for some reason I did better in class than usual. I guess the pressure was off, and I was just so glad to still make it to ballet class before the flu got the better of me! Or, it is actually possible that my teacher´s corrections are finally sinking in.. It´s like there is this persistent voice track playing in my head, right alongside with the "normal" stuff that usually keeps my brain occupied. It sounds something like this:

Turn out. More! Present yourself. The back is long. Stretch your knees. Heels forward. Arms are breathing. Elongate the line.. match the phrasing of the music. Work the floor in degagés. Use oppositional forces. Weight on the working leg. Legs are long, longer! Pliés are juicy, and deeper. Positions bigger. Do your maximum. No in-betweens! Turn out. More!

I knew I was doing something right the moment we did our first grand pliés. I felt centered and stretched and placed, and everything seemed just a little bit easier. In the center pirouettes turned like there was no tomorrow, even though I lacked the nerve to go beyond doubles. Adagio was beautiful (the exercise, not me), and I did not loose balance on the arabesque penchée. I even managed the attitude pirouette en dehors finishing in plié. I have always trouble with that one! Petit allegro was fine, grand allegro less so but I´m out of practice. Really need to work on those grand jetés! Still it was the kind of class you wish you had everyday. Our teacher gave us some amazing demonstrations, the usual 6 o´clock positions which she does so effortlessly and a couple of surprise grand jetés which looked like they just sliced the air in half!

Picture of Lucinda Dunn, photo James Morgan

Pointe class was much better than last time, now that my shoes have been cut and molded to my feet. We did some crazy new stuff, like stretches on the barre in relevé. Crazy, because how on earth am I supposed to get up on pointe with one leg when I have my other back on the barre? In arabesque no less! Also I could not do the foot-in-hand stretch, not on pointe. Then Madame had us do pirouettes in the center, without ever prepping them at the barre. She gave us the option to do just relevés (when did this become "just"?), but I gave it a try anyway. To the right I could not even get up. To the left I managed one and a half turn, sadly with turned in legs. Not good! But over the years there have been a lot of things I thought I would never be able to do. Only to be proven wrong. See, sometimes it is really good to be wrong! 

Best of all, after class Madame came up to me and said that I did well today. Which is why I´m still smiling five days later.

Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly. - Robert Schuller

Ballet is hard. Even after thousands of tendues and plies and practice it doesn´t really get any easier. There are always new things to learn, and old stuff to improve upon. For instance in today´s intermediate class we did this new move, I hope I can explain it right: jump from 5th, the front leg opens into seconde (same arm up), and you do a quick ronde en l´air as you come down, followed by pique (with same front leg) arabesque in effacé. And repeat. Hmm.. I really need to work on these explanations. 

Anyway, it was a new combination for me, and I just couldn´t figure it out. Am I supposed to do the ronde while still airborne? Is that really possible? If I do the ronde on landing, then what was that first jump? Sissone ouvert? Again, I´m over-thinking the steps, when we should already be doing them. Our teacher does explain, but she can no longer demonstrate full out, and I´m a visual learner.  To confuse myself further,  I´m reminded of another jump I´ve seen in Balanchine´s Nutcracker.. I think it´s called "gargouillade", but there you do the rondes with both legs, and simultaneously. Must try that sometime. But I digress. We repeat the exercise many times, and I´m doing something slightly different each time. I really hope we are doing this combination again next class so I can get another go at it ( or closer to). 

Ballet is full of these challenges, and I love it, even though I sometimes get frustrated. I suppose it´s all part of the learning process and dancing and life in general. It´s what makes it such a rewarding experience and just plain fun. With ballet, you are never over and done!