"You are not doing well because you're having a good day, you're doing well because you pushed through your bad days!"
Just something my teacher said to me today after class. I was feeling quite sorry for myself, having had two bad classes behind me. You know, the kind where you are just trying to keep up, and even that effort is sucking all the energy out of you. After our first pirouettes, it was a sinking feeling right until the end of pointe class. Though, in my defense, I have barely danced this spring. The past 5 weeks, I've managed a total of five ballet classes, plus three hours of pointe which are on the same days as the three advanced technique class I took. Before yesterday, I had been away for two weeks. Easter and work and working away in Germany, and recovering from not sleeping enough while working. Well, no more of that. I am back, starting with three classes per week, and working myself up from there.
Friday has been my favorite ballet class (90 min adv + 60 min pointe) for the past year, and after being away for too much I might have had my expectations a bit too high.. I was just so excited to be back in class that I had forgotten how hard ballet actually is! You can't just take a break and then jump back in as if nothing. No way. The other thing that threw me off, was that Madame is currently unavailable to teach (she should be back for the fall/winter semester). If you have been reading my blog, you know what an impact she has made on me and my dancing. It's not only about the steps and exercises we get to do. It is something about her way of coaching the best out of everyone. It helps that Madame is very encouraging, gives lots of personal attention (so much to correct and improve!) and never gives up on you. This makes me feel both safe and challenged, and happy. I have to admit that I have many insecurities (I suppose I'm not the only one?), and for this class I would have needed the extra TLC as much as the kick in the derrière!
Well, I did not get the proverbial kick, but an actual slap on the butt for "slacking off" the past month. It was a friendly gesture though, administered by my other main teacher G, who came back from her maternity leave early to step in for Madame. G is quite an energetic teacher, pushy and demanding, but mostly in a good way.
Now I just have to reacquaint myself with G's way of teaching and style of dancing (quick and springy!). It's like when you haven't seen a friend for a long time, and you need to do some catching up to get back on the same page. I'm also going to put in real work to get my feet back under me! And I'm excited about this summer, when there is not just the one great ballet class to look forward to, but three. And number three is a charm, right? I might yet get my groove back. To conclude with a short recap: I had a bad day. I sucked. I will get over it. And hopefully, I will be stronger for it.
Wishing you all the strength, courage and determination to take the lows with the highs and to keep dancing the roller-coaster that is life. Phew.
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