February 15, 2011

Dance like no one is watching,

.. and write poems like no one is reading! (Hah, didn´t see that coming!) Usually that is exactly what I do. I write my "poetry" straight into the drawer, just as I would never ever sing in front of people (should anyone from work get any ideas about karaoke - forget it. And that is all I will ever say on that subject.) But lately, I have been revealing stuff about myself. In public. On-line. "Stuff" about my passion for dancing, my ambitions (think quadruple pirouettes, high extensions, elegant lines), insecurities (pink thigh-revealing tights, not getting any younger here, looking silly), my bloody blisters (sorry!), even the content of my fridge (sorry, again). Where did it say that bloggers are introvert exhibitionists? There is certainly a kernel of truth in there. If it were not for the dancing. You cannot dance and be introvert, not at the same time.

Dancing - for me it is a suspension of disbelief, and a leap of faith - every time. I know very well that I will never be up to par with the real dancers of this world. The ones we admire and adore! But I do know that I have some technique to let go and enjoy myself. It is not always easy or comfortable to dance full out, with your heart on your sleeve, but it is exhilarating. Even if I  rarely have the nerve to go that far - class cannot be so intense every time! But when I do it is beyond ____, better than ____, and not like anything else in my experience. Please, if you have ever felt this way, you may insert your own adjectives in the spaces. I would love to know. 

Dance matters to me. It is not the only thing I enjoy or love, meaning that I do have a whole life outside of ballet (seriously). I like to travel, by train, and I like to read (anything from Jane Austen to Harry Potter), just to mention a few. On occasion, I feel the need to write. But blogging is one thing, writing "poetry" - something entirely else. Reminds me of that Japanese proverb:  "We are fools wether we dance or not. So we might as well dance." I like to think it applies to writing poems as well. That is why I´m ready to embarrass myself with the outing of my first public dance "poem". It can´t be worse than my recaps of  pointe shoe break-ins. Please be kind, anyway.

7 comments:

  1. I say way to go! Nothing better than dancing and poetry combined! Keep up the good work. :)

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  2. Thank you LadyCharmed! :)

    I guess we take risks every time we step in front of the mirror or up on stage, or put words in writing. What is the worst that could happen? If we fall down, we get back up again. If the words are no quite poetry yet, we turn a new page and start over. When you dance you hope to write music in the air, and when you write you try to capture it back..

    BTW, I saw that you are a student of English phil. and American lit? What a coincidence - I studied English too (here, at the University of Helsinki). I also noticed that we share some of our favorite films (My Fair Lady, Breakfast at Tiffany´s), as well as Harry Potter :) Hey, it´s really nice to meet you!

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  3. Yes, I study English and American literature, with some linguistics thrown in just for torture. :)

    I must say that I thoroughly enjoy your blog, I've only discovered it recently, but it has become one of the first tabs I open in the morning to see if there's an update.

    So nice to meet you too, and, again, keep up the wonderful work!

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  4. Hi. I made a post similar to this. Not about poetry, but about the other things in my life besides ballet. I suspected that some people thought that I too wrapped up in thoughts of dance, when I have never even been on stage once. So, I had to set the record straighter about where ballet and the enjoyment of dance fit into my life.

    http://balletomane3.blogspot.com/2011/01/soooo.html

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  5. Hi balletomane3!

    I´m not sure if you need to put a disclaimer on your passion. Then again, I am biased in this matter. I think if you are passionate about dance, you have a life already. I might tell someone else to go and get one! :)

    It is up to you wether you want to write a blog about just one aspect in your life or blog about everything that concerns and moves you. Dancers and ballet fans will understand. As for others, why care? Sure, if someone close to you is concerned that you may get too "wrapped up" in your thing, you can put them straight!

    Dance is a way of life for me, but that does not exclude the enjoyment of other things. Yesterday I went bowling. Loads of fun! :D

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  6. "I find myself"
    So true. That is why I love dance.

    Audience begs for more, keep it coming :)

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  7. Aija,

    When I came back to ballet after a three year hiatus, it was like coming home and re-discovering myself.

    I´m happy that you share the feeling! And I will dance my best to write my best ;)

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