Tutus and Dancing Queens

That would be an imaginary tutu, much like our imaginary audience behind the mirror. But it was the instruction given by our teacher in pointe class: you have to dance as if wearing a tutu! It is not just about attitude, regal carriage and all that ballerina cred. There is a practical reason. A short tutu shaped like a teacup, saucer or pancake (pick your prefered visual) can get in the way of your usual port de bras. And unless you want tutu to turn into an obstruction of dance, you have to move and hold those arms above the tutu-line. I had never given it much thought before, but the tutu is more than frilly decoration. It evolved from long to less to give freedom of movement and to show off the ballerina´s legs, but in the process it also shaped the way ballet is danced! 

Boston Ballet: Larissa Ponomarenko. Photo: Rosalie O' Connor.

Imagine yourself dancing in a tutu.. I gotta tell you, for me it borders on the tutu much. If you look at it purely from a fashion do -pointe of view, powder-pink tights and short pancake skirts are more of a don´t, at least for a short and curvy grown-up woman like myself. And if you´re feeling butt-conscious, wearing a saucer tutu is akin to carrying a neon-sign arrow pointed at your booty! There is just not much in the way of derriere coverage. I prefer longer tutus like the corps in the picture is wearing. Pretty and flattering. That, however, would be missing the point of the exercise. Butts aside, I try my best not to dwell on it, especially as my tutu is all make-belief anyway. 

You would think my imagination would allow me to wear my own design, but all I can "see" is Elisabeth Platel´s Grand Pas Classique tutu. It´s no wonder - since we started practicing parts of the GPC variation, I´ve watched Platel´s dancing on youtube about a 100 times.  I´m hoping something will stick by osmosis alone. Oh, and did I mention our teacher told us to dance like a queen? At this point it was hard to keep a straight face, as I was still adjusting my port de bras to my invisible tutu.. But for once, I cast my inner sarcastic critic aside and held my head up high. Majestically and high above the tutu-line. ;)

Eyes on Me

Note: "Eyes on Me" is not the sequel to "Eyes on the Prize". My ego is not that huge, no need to deflate it. Anyway, that last post was about pirouette spotting and chasing multiple turns. Not about declaring myself a prize. ;) But I could use an ego-boost nonetheless! Or learn how to fake it in class, instead of looking like I´d rather dance into hiding. "Dance like no one is watching." What is that quote about anyway? Feeling free to express yourself and not fearing judgement - which is a good thing, I´ll give you that. But you can´t dance ballet in your own little bubble, not if you want to captivate your audience (imaginary or not). Gotta own that stage, darlings!

Yesterday we continued to practice the GPC variation in pointe class. G (our teacher) is gradually replacing some of the modified steps with the original steps, and it keeps getting more challenging every week. We are now doing the exact same version from 06:20 until 06:47 (video below). Piqué attitudes are still replaced with piqué soutenus, and there are no en dedans pirouettes. But the tombé coupé developpé (or is it fondue relevé?) at 07:06 is now being introduced into the mix. Yesterday I got to try it for the first time in center! Failed a couple of times, tried again, failed better and then almost got it! Cool. :)

Pointe technique is difficult. Remembering all the detailed port de bras, épaulement and where to look while on pointe - even trickier. It is so tempting to keep your eyes on the mirror to check what you´re doing, or look around at the others to make sure you´re dancing the same steps at the same time! I am making some progress, even remembered to look right, then left on the first piqué step. But the hardest part of all is looking straight ahead, and inviting your "audience" to look at you! You need some ballerina attitude for that. And a healthy amount of self-confidence and self-esteem.

What I need most is to rid myself of the belittling noise in my head: "You´re not good enough. Who are you kidding, pretending to be a ballerina?" That stupid fear of looking like I´m trying too much. Too often I feel that as an adult ballet dancer I have to make some sort of a disclaimer: Yes, I know my ballet is pretend-play. Yes, I know there is no foreseeable future where I would dance a variation on pointe, on stage. Yes, I know that given my age and facilities, not likely to happen. But it´s so much fun to practice, and so exciting to learn all these new steps! Do I really have to apologize to my imaginary audience for not looking and dancing like a pro? Nope, I didn´t think so!

In the end my teacher told me not to be shy, and that I dance beautifully. I should just go for it and capture my "audience". Okay then, deep breath and.. all eyes on me!

Magic

Yesterday I had a Moment in class. The kind which not only restores faith in potential abilities, but takes you places. New places. Makes you fall in love with dancing all over again. 

We have been practicing parts of the Grand Pas Classique variation, modified to our level of course, but still a big deal for an adult dancer. Huge. Anyway, I have been watching that GPC with Elisabeth Platel over and over, admiring her brilliant technique, elegance and apparent ease. Did I mention that she is one of my all-time favorite ballerinas? Madame Platel has been to Helsinki many times, and I was once lucky enough to see her dance Giselle (partnered by Manuel Legris). Still gives me chills. Platel has also been visiting Helsinki in preparation for the upcoming International Ballet Competition (May-June 2012), as she will be teaching a master-class for a select group of pre-professional young dancers. And she has been giving courses and seminars to ballet-educators, including my own teacher.

Elisabeth Platel

Yeah, I´m digressing from my Moment. But it was Platel who inspired me, who held the wand for ballet magic. Because that was what it felt like. Pure out-of-body-magic.

So, we have been practicing said GPC variation sans the most difficult bits. It would be crazy not to, since I´ve barely graduated out of beginner´s pointe class. The first eight counts of the ballerina´s solo are almost indentical, but instead of the relevé into attitude we do a sous sous. Our teacher has slowed down some steps, and added bourrées where there are none, but it fits the music. Instead of the piqué turns in attitude we do sous tenus, but with the same arms as in the original. No pirouettes yet, and the ballonés on pointe will undoubtedly be replaced with something else. But even with the modifications there is nothing easy about it!

Post-edit: " Our teacher has (..) added bourrées where there are none." It was kindly pointed out to me that this is not correct. And yes, on careful re-inspection I can see that there are tiny bourrées in the original variation too. Ours were just more pronounced because of the slightly slower tempo. There are of course different interpretations of this variation (as many as there are ballerinas dancing it), even if they are only subtle nuances.

Dear Reader, something has changed, and for the better. I no longer fear The Variation! Yes, I´m still in awe. Okay, dumbfounded is more like it. And I will always have serious respect for anything danced on pointe. But I no longer feel like I want to go into hiding. You cannot dance and keep holding back. You cannot dive into the deep end without jumping off that edge first!

My Moment was a private little affair. Our teacher was giving instructions to the first group (our class is split into 2-3 levels with corresponding center exercises), and my group was waiting and quietly goofing around at the other end. We practice in this huge and long studio, you could pretty much have two different classes at the same time.

I wanted to try out those piqué attitude turns, because I love anything with piqués in it. Piqué into attitude and turn. Not too bad, and I keep trying. Then it just happens. I piqué into a high attitude and do a full turn around, in slow-motion. Any slower and I would have needed a prince to rescue me. It feels like gliding and floating and like I could stay up forever. I´ve had this dream before. Only at the time I was sleeping, not dancing.

Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Sneaky Does It

Teachers can be sneaky. Like when they don´t tell you that you´re about to practice a very famous variation, because they know that it would freak you out and have you jeté into hiding before the pointe shoe drops. My teacher is like that. She knows me so well, it´s embarrassing.

The funny thing is that I should have recognized the music right away. I have watched that variation on youtube so many times that Auber´s music is permanently burned on my brain. But I´ve never ever considered trying or learning any of those steps. Dreamed, yes. But which ballet enthusiast/dancer/wannabe-ballerina would not dream of dancing like the sublime Platel?

Piqué passé retiré - pas de chat - pas de bourré dessus - relevé attitude (we did a simple sous-sous instead) - back leg coud de pied - front leg coud de pied with corresponding port de bras - plié into passé retiré - pas de bourré en tournant with legs into high retirés - repeat.. I was concentrating so hard on the steps that I did not realize we were doing the beginning of the female solo of Grand Pas Classique! Way to sneak that in, Signora..

Had you shown me that variation a year ago, I would have deemed it mission impossible. And to be completely honest and get-real realistic, 90 percent of it still is (and at least 65% will always remain that). The attitude turns, the hops on pointe - please educate me as how to desribe them in correct ballet-French - the fouetté pirouettes, and the list goes on and on.. All we did was the first 8 counts repeated twice. You can now go and watch the video, fast forward to 06:25 and stop before Platel does her piqué attitude turns. Remember to replace the attitude relevé with a sous-sous.



I know, for you been-there-done-thats out there, baby steps. For me, a huge deal. I´m so not going to be blasé about it. You may have to trick me into variations, at least until I learn how not to freak out at the sight of Solo Dancing. But darlings, I have to admit it - I loved every classique step!