June 16, 2013

First Tutu

Took off my tutu, left the theatre, went home, took the trash out, removed my stage make-up, would have loved a cold beer, drank milk instead and thought: was this already it? So many hours and weekends spent in rehearsals, and then the show was over in an instant. I did well enough, could have done better (there's always room for lots of improvement), but I didn't fall over or forget any steps. Somewhere between the nerves and trying hard not to f*** up, I actually had a moment were everything was just fine. And I'm so pleased with the way our (mostly) adult corps de ballet held its own - it really was a lovely and impressive performance all around.

It was also my first time in a real tutu.



20 comments:

  1. you look beautiful in your tutu. :)

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    1. Thank you Hannah :) It was a beautiful tutu... Sure felt different dancing in it!

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  2. Congratulations! Very pretty!

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  3. I do not remember my first performance as an adult re-beginner at all (I considered myself a beginner for several years). I remember walking out onto the stage and I remember bowing to the audience, but inbetween there is nothing but a big black hole.

    I must admit I like the work before a performance a lot better than the actual performance. I love this process of working together as well as the creative atmosphere of rehearsals.

    However, congratulations to you!

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    1. Hi Paulina!

      I remember my first performance as an adult dancer: I was scared stiff, literally. All the work we had done before had been a marvellous learning experience, and a big boost overall. But waiting in the wings, all by myself... I was anything but calm and happy, and that did not change once I got on stage. But I got through it without screwing up, and that alone was a huge deal for me. Since then, it has become easier. I still get nervous (I suppose most dancers do), but now there are moments when I actually love being on stage. Weirdly, this time around, I enjoyed performing more than rehearsing.

      If you think of the actual performance as just one part of creative process, maybe that would take the pressure off? Because no matter what, you're not going to be perfect on stage. Even if you have more shows, it will be different from one performance to the next. Let yourself enjoy the ride! :)

      Thank you for commenting!

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  4. Wow, you look soooo beautiful! Like a real, REAL ballerina.

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    1. Thank you so much, Aliénor. A real tutu will do that to you... :)

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  5. Tutu näyttää ihanalta!:) Ja loppujen lopuksi kaikki menee aina hyvin lavalla, ja vaikkei mene niin pitää osata nauttia ja nauraa;)

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    1. Kiitos, Vilja! Tutu kaunisti kyllä meitä kaikkia ;)

      Lavalla ei ehkä ole tarkoituskaan olla täydellinen... Tärkeintä on että tanssin ilo ja autuus välittyy yleisölle, silloin ei haittaa vaikka joku askel ei menisi teknisesti ihan nappiin. Mua jännitti aluksi ihan vietävästi, senkin takia että ystäviä oli yleisössä, mutta oli se vaan aika ihanaa :)

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  6. Sooooo beautiful! Oh, more pictures PLEASE! :-)

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    1. Thank you, you're very sweet ! I might have a few more pictures for later... :)

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  7. Hello,
    You look absolutely beautiful in your tutu! I remember the magic of my first tutu and I'm so glad you were able to share this moment with us through your blog! One quick question though, what ballet are the tutu's from? To me they look like tutus for Kingdom of the Shades from La Bayadere but I'm probably wrong.
    Thank for such a great post!

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    1. Thank you so much! And you are not wrong - I was one of the Shades... :) I should probably write a longer post about it!

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  8. Congratulations on a great performance! My first show as an adult is tomorrow night, and I am terrified about being on stage again after so many years away from it... I'll manage, I guess!

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    1. Thank you, Mary!

      Remember to enjoy it all, the preparation, the stage make-up, the warm-up, the last minute jitters, then calming down, taking a deep breath and knowing you'll be just fine.. And it will be awesome!

      Wishing you lots of "merde"!!!

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  9. Well done! Clearly you have a great deal more courage, confidence and probably competence than most of us. A very good photo too. Something also for future generations in your family to treasure.

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    1. Thank you, Jane! :) But, I don't think I have any more courage or confidence than the rest of our adult dancer corps de ballet. Knowing that you're not going to be alone on stage helped a lot! As for the competence... Well, it was an open call - no audition. We had dancers from basic levels and dancers from intermediate to advanced levels. Everyone learned something new and valuable. :)

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  10. Hi Johanna! I just discovered your blog because I just restarted ballet at 25. As an adult dancer, do you have many opportunities to perform and how do they come about? (with your ballet school?) I like performing so I was just wondering! I like the feel of working towards a performance, with a goal in mind...

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    1. Hi Fiona!

      We have recitals/shows twice a year: before Christmas and at the end of spring term. There are no auditions, and in ballet everyone (except new beginners) gets to participate. I would like to perform more, but as an adult opportunities are very rare as it is.

      Although, outside of rehearsals, I don't take class with a particular goal in mind. For me class is it, and performance just an extra at the end of each term. But it sounds like it's the other way round for you. Any chance you could perform with your current school? Talk to your teacher about it?

      Meanwhile, how about coming up with smaller goals, maybe just one for each month? For example, improving some aspect of your technique, focusing on one correction, or fine-tuning your port de bras... Just a suggestion :)

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