Pink Presentation

It has been now about one month since I ditched my trusted black leggings in favour of pink tights. Never imagined I would go this far without the force of a dress-code. But here I am, and let me say that I have seen the light. Coloured like a summer dawn, it is indeed ballet-pink! Seriously, my fellow dancers, it is not as daunting or embarrassing as I had feared. I'm not entirely comfortable, but there have been definitive advantages. Enough so to outweigh the con of feeling thigh-thunderous! ;)

For one, I'm much more aware of my knee-heel-toe alignment, at least when I can see myself in the mirror. And it almost seems to me that my teachers are more aware of it too. That or they have simply noticed me working harder. Anyway, lately I have been getting a lot of fine-tuning corrections about my feet! And there has been some progress, too! It is hard to believe that after all these years I'm still capable to produce a better en dehors. Or as my teacher keeps telling us: "Present your beautiful heels!"

Now I have to confess that I haven't gone entirely pink for ever. Occasionally, I have felt the need to wear black, and I still keep spare leggings in my dance bag. Also, it is more fun to mix it up a little. Confession number two: I have been wearing knee-length cut-off shorts above my tights. I roll the legs up, just a little, but it has been my safety gear of sorts. It's silly really, no one else but me cares about the size of my thighs!

Yesterday, in pointe class, I finally decided to brave it. I was hot, the shorts added extra bulk under my new and pretty red polka-dot skirt, and we were facing the barre. Everyone was concentrating on their own thing, the teacher knows how I look already, and does not care - so what the heck! I stripped down to my leo, tights and skirt combo and preceded with the class. No biggie. No, wrong. Big suprise! I did not see the dreaded thunder thighs, what I saw instead were nicely muscled and strong legs. Not quite the preferred lean ballerina-look, but I do have dancer's legs is all I'm saying!

Five years ago I was in black yoga-pants and tunics, today in skirts and pink tights. It may seem like I'm making a lot of noise about appearances, but for me it signifies a milestone. I feel finally at ease with my ballet-shaped body - and proud of what I have achieved.

Pink Tights - Yikes!

Never say never - but when I posted You Will Never See Me In Pink Tights, I meant it. For real. Because when I'm in ballet class I always wear black leggings. Only when I'm feeling particularily bold, I might pull on midnight blue or some brazen dark aubergine colours. Pale ballet-pinks or white? Never.

My favorite look is a capri-length semi-sheer black legging combined with a skin-colored ballet slipper for a nice calf-ankle-toe line. Hey, you see pros wear the same all the time - so it's cool enough for me. And you know what? Even real ballerinas are not all crazy about the pale ballet-pink leg look, despite their slim and gorgeously muscled pins! My own teachers told me the same. Maybe it's just that after years of enforced dress-codes black equals freedom?

My aversion to pale-pink tights has two reasons: despite studying ballet in earnest, I don't want to look like I want to look the part. I'm not pretending to be a ballet student, I just take class. Does that make any sense at all? Reason number two is vanity. I have always been very self-conscious about the size and shape of my thighs. On a plus side, my quads and hams are definitely shaped by years of ballet. But there's too much bulk and soft padding on top of the muscles, which makes them look plus-sized in proportion to the rest of me. Although it might be that my body-image is somewhat distorted; looking through a ballet-studio's looking glass can do that to you..

Black is slimming, ballet-pink is not. But I have to admit that muscle tone is better visible through pink tights. And ballet-shaped legs look good, even in bigger sizes. And I'm bored with my jambes looking always the same. It's not even yet time for a nice summer tan. Which brings me back to the Never Say Never.. I figured if I torture myself with pink for a while, going back to black will be so much sweeter. So I changed my mind about the pink tights! I have been wearing them for the past week!

I gotta tell you, that first time almost felt like going topless on a semi-nude beach in Helsinki, many summers ago. Bare. Exposed. Even though I wore my tights rolled up above the ankle, with black knee-length shorts. And a black skirt on top of it all. But it wasn't so bad. Just like at that beach! Nobody even noticed the difference (though the topless act might have been noticed by some). Next class I rolled the tights down and over my toes. It was a basic level, with most exercises facing the barre and in my case the mirror too. Could not resist taking peaks, whenever my teacher was elsewhere (otherwise it's chin up and eyes forward). I was surprised at how nice my legs looked!

Last time was yesterday's advanced class. I was not sure at first, because there were a couple of young pre-pro girls dropping in. You know, the kind that do ballet competitions. Talented and gorgeous. But I figured, what the heck! I can't change my genetic make-up but I can strut my ballet-bod with some pride, big thighs and all! Mind you, I'm still sticking to the black shorts, but they have been rolled above knee-length already. It's like a really slow strip-release of old insecurities. Just have to remember that the fat mirror is fun-house and not real!

After class I talked to my teacher about my dislike of pink tights and why I had decided to wear them anyway - and she told me that she understands but that she had noticed some very nice lines! It's not that I don't stretch my knees in black, however the pink might have given me an extra push to look good.. I won't stop wearing black leggings - it's my thing - but I promise to go pink once in a while. Might even ditch the long shorts!