The Balletlove Interview

A while back, Singaporean dance wear company Balletlove.co  asked me if I would like to do an interview. As it happens, Balletlove.co is not just a dance wear company, but they also offer adult ballet classes. Which is probably why they're also interested in the adult (recreational) ballet experience... Not that it is so different at heart: professional dancer or not, we all share the love for ballet.

Here's my interview, full-length:

1. What is your earliest memory of ballet? Describe your journey in ballet from the start to now. 

When I about was eleven years old, my grandfather took me to the Finnish National Ballet to see Giselle. I remember very clearly being mesmerized by the entrance of the wilis, but the experience did not yet prompt me to sign up for classes. My best friend had been in ballet school, and I admired her for it, but I also thought it’s something that only the chosen few get to do. In retrospect, I’m glad that I didn’t start early, because inevitably there would have been disappointment and heartache. I do not have the facility for a professional career.

I was 21, when a friend suggested we take jazz dance classes at a studio close to our office. I hadn't done any kind of exercise program for quite a while, and sitting at a desk all day was already taking its toll... Jazz dance sounded like fun, so we signed up. Towards the end of that fall semester, our teacher told us about adult beginner ballet classes, and in the coming January 1991, I stood at the barre. Incidentally, the jazz dance teacher who pointed me into the direction of adult ballet now takes the same morning class as me. Oftentimes, we go together across the floor. Time flies when you dance!

2. How did you come to love ballet? What is it about ballet that you love?

Long before I fell for ballet, I loved to watch musicals for their dance scenes. Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Cyd Charisse, all the classics. When I listened to classical music, I imagined myself moving to it. Then there was Fame (the TV-series), and White Nights with Baryshnikov (and those famous 11 pirouettes), and I found myself reading Dance Magazine at the library. I couldn’t understand English yet, but I kept gazing at the pictures. The lines of ballet, the elegance, the interplay of movement, music, stories and emotion... It lifts your spirits.


3. Do give us an example of an (unusual) thing you do to show your passion/obsession with ballet (this question is for fun)

I suppose my blogs and facebook page (Pointe Til You Drop) are testament enough ;).

4. Describe some earlier challenges you've had learning ballet as an adult and how they are no longer challenges.

One of the early challenges was going across the floor… Seasoned girls/ladies did these elegant preparations us adult late starters had not yet been taught, and I was never sure which leg was supposed to go first on which count… Also learning about directions, ecarté and effacé, and basically the entire French ballet vocabulary. I borrowed/bought all the literature I could find (this was before internet), and I know a little French from high school, so I studied the theory as well. Knowing the steps and how to pronounce them has helped tremendously.

5. What inspires you? EDIT: question Nr. 5 was missing from the original interview, so I came up with my own.

Music, musicality, certain dancers/teachers, other adult students, passion.

6. What are some challenges now? What are the feedback you regularly receive from your teacher right now? (can be both positive or not-so-positive)

One of the biggest challenge for me is correcting old & bad habits, like a sickled ankle in retiré during pirouettes, or losing that last bit of turnout in degagés (especially to the back and in ronde jambes), or not aligning my toes over knees in landings. I have to make a conscious effort every time, instead of letting my muscle memory take over. That’s why I also take a very basic level class, because there’s more time to refocus and re-learn. Another challenge is a sometime lack of self-confidence combined with too high expectations. I also tend to be my own worst critic, so I need to remind myself to let go a little, dance “under”, and enjoy the process. As for my teacher, she’s very generous with positive feedback, regardless of your background, facility, age or skill level. It’s a very nurturing environment to learn in.

What is the feedback I receive regularly? I suppose it’s the same for every student… “Keep your turnout, don’t lose it, heels forward, popo down, stretch knees, lengthen back, long neck, juicy pliés, point toes, do more, dance big, use your eyes, present yourself, don’t be shy…”

Not-so-positive feedback? As I mentioned before, I do sometimes struggle with keeping a confident and positive attitude... When those negative voices take over, I’m not the most pleasant student to teach. I get emotional, feel too strongly… I didn’t know it was so visible, nor that it could affect anyone else besides me. I learned that I cannot be selfish in class, that a positive attitude is not only to help me but also vital to a healthy and happy group dynamic. And I’ve gotten much better at managing my moods, and finding inner calm even on the most challenging of days. Actually, I’m in a pretty good place right now :).


7. Do you get down moments in ballet? How often? Do share... and how you managed those.

I think I just answered that in the previous question. Another way to manage possible down moments is to take good care of yourself. Get enough sleep, eat well, prepare for class, wear something that makes you feel pretty and confident… Everyone has bad days, and gets down moments, but it’s impossible to learn and progress without failing, making mistakes, or feeling stuck on learning plateaus… What I have (finally) understood: there is no such thing as a bad day without good moments, or down moments that are not preceded or followed by something better! We tend to focus way too much on the downs, but I guess that’s human nature. The best thing is to shake it off and move on, literally.


8. What are your strengths in ballet?

Enthusiasm, curiosity, passion. I never get tired of learning. If you mean less abstract strengths, then I do have fairly strong legs, and a natural ballon. Great for allegro!


9. What are some goals and aspirations for ballet? Or in an ideal/dream world, what would you like to be able to do?

My main goal is to get rid of my bad habits, be a “clean” and elegant dancer, who is not shy to express… And, of course, to dance as long as possible!

In an ideal/dream world, I would like to be able to teach.


10. What is your ballet pet peeve?

Oh dear… Perhaps the trend of having celebrity amateur students/dancers represent ballet in the media/advertising, instead of professionals. Either have a pro (or dancer-in-training) demonstrate the steps, or have a professional teacher give class to adult students (celebs included). Don’t get me wrong: I think it’s great to make ballet more accessible to a wider audience, but it should remain ballet. It's not about being elitist, but being true to the art form and its demands. Ballet is very hard, and it takes time and patience, and proper teaching. It’s not cos-play.


11. What do you think is the greatest misconception adult dancers have about ballet?

That you have to be young, skinny and flexible to begin. Of course, youth and a “ballet-suitable” facility are desirable and helpful, but adult students do not take class to become professional dancers. Everybody can learn and progress, and enjoy the journey.

12. What do you think it is the greatest challenge an adult has learning to dance ballet?

I think that’s very individual… You can’t put all adults into the same box. There’s not even such a thing as “your average adult student”. It really depends on your motivation, abilities, natural talent, discipline, attitude, schedule, adult obligations, budget, availability of classes, the quality of teaching, your learning type… For some the challenge is mainly physical, perhaps a lack of turnout or a stiff back. For others, it’s trying to find time and suitable classes.


13. What is it like to be dancing for over 20 years as an adult? 

Compared to professional dancers/performers, it’s a very different experience: to be forever a student, but never a dancer. My goal has never been to dance on stage, instead class is an end in itself. It works for me, because I love the work but not the performing. I did participate in a few school spring/xmas shows, but to be honest, I only enjoyed the rehearsal process. Being on stage, in front of a real audience? Horrors. But I’m grateful for the experience.

I wish I could revisit the student I was 25 years ago, or even observe myself in class ten years ago… You can only dance in the present, and it’s easy to lose sight of progress. Obviously, I’m no longer a beginning student. Technically, I’m probably a mix of advanced beginner and intermediate, with a bit of advanced thrown in. I’m not just talking about “step repertoire”, but execution and expression.

As a younger (20+) student, I was perhaps more courageous and adventurous. I knew nothing, and was willing to try anything - even if steps were way beyond my skill level. As I’ve gotten more experienced, I know & see all the mistakes and flaws, which can be hindering...There really is a certain bliss in ignorance.


14. What do you think it takes for an adult dancer to improve?

A positive attitude, patience, persistence, focus & attention in class, readiness to apply corrections, willingness to try new things, and the best teacher you can find.


15. How do you friends and family feel about your love for ballet?

My family is used to it. I think they would be concerned if I ever decided to quit. My friends? Quite a few also take ballet class, so we share a love for ballet. My non-dancer friends probably think I’m a bit weird, a curiosity…;) But they’ve all been very encouraging and supportive!


16. What is your dance wear style?

Black leggings, nude/tan slippers, long skirts tied asymmetrically, leos with long sleeves, loose & long open yoga-style cardigans that I use to warm up and hide in (but which can also be wrapped around the waist or tossed aside). It’s definitely NOT a classic dress-code ballet school look… And I like to play with it, wear bright blue leggings with a blue leo and star-print skirt, or a cherry red leo with a floral print skirt, or go all in black. As long as I feel pretty and comfortable.


17. What are some of the memorable moments you've had in your ballet journey? Do share with us.

The first class I took, when I realized that I had to come back. The time my first teacher praised me for my musicality. When I nailed a challenging balance in advanced class, early on in my dance years - and my teacher’s response to it. Coming back to ballet, after a three-year absence. Taking professional morning class in Berlin (and being able to keep up). Putting on pointe shoes for the first time. Every pointe class I’ve ever had. My stage debut, scared stiff. Writing a ballet blog. Readers! Being backstage at the Finnish National Ballet, observing company class, volunteering at the Helsinki International Ballet Competitions. Wonderful teachers. Finding “my teacher” at the mature age of 41, and discovering that I’m able to do much more... Learning about all-important details, precision footwork, presentation and elegance, colors and nuances, even artistry. Applying thousands of corrections, seeing and feeling gradual improvement, the sense of accomplishment and joy… Every class since.


18. Share some funny moments you've had in ballet class.

The time we did petit allegro, my skirt slid down, and I jumped out of it. When we changed directions, and I was the only one facing the wrong side, happily… until I saw myself in the mirror (and my teacher laughing).


19. What is your happiest moment in ballet?

The whole experience, from first class to the latest and next one. There is no single happiest moment, because there have been so many!!!


20. Lastly, what would you like to be remembered for (can be anything! from words, to character, to attitude, to allegro, to being an amazing dancer) in the ballet community?

Some of Pointe Til You Drop’s followers/readers have said that my posts have either inspired them to start ballet, or to continue with their classes. I’d like to be remembered for that :).

After class, wearing my floral print Balletlove skirt.
Sorry for the less-than-sharp mirror selfie, but there was no one else left to take the pic ;)

Balletlove.co also asked if I'd like a freebie ballet skirt and leotard. No strings attached, but they would appreciate my feedback. I said yes, of course. Some time later, I received a beautiful black leotard with mesh sleeves, and a floral print skirt. Unfortunately, the leo was too small for me, so I handed it over to a young friend who's also a dancer-in-training. But the skirt has been a nice change from my usual black! 

Dance Like No One is Judging

Dance like no one is watching, is what we often hear... All you have to do is be in the moment, listen to the music, apply what you have learned - and enjoy the dancing. Easier said than done. I don't perform on stage, so class is never just warm-up, but the only place where I get to dance. Ballet is my passion, not profession - which doesn't mean I don't take practice seriously. Sometimes, too much. I've always been focused on progress, applying corrections, improving, pushing myself, working hard... But then I can also be too hard on myself, disappointed when I don't meet my own expectations, forgetting what dance is all about: expression and the joy of moving to music. You learn technique to play your instrument, but you cannot paint music without soul.

As an adult ballet student, I have to work with a lot of physical limitations, and accept my shortcomings (lack of turnout, low arabesques, not having the lines I dream of). But there are also advantages: I don't have to go on stage when my body is tired and aching, my (future) career and livelihood does not depend on my performance in class, there's no pressure to do well, no competition, no stress. Hard work, sweat and challenges - yes. But those are an integral part of the experience, and I would not want it any other way.

Two Coppélias. South Koreans Han Dahuin (blue background) and So Yun Park.
Photography by Mirka Kleemola for IBC Helsinki. 

For a young and talented dancer competing in a prestigious ballet competition, it's a very different experience. Every moment is essentially your calling card, a live resume in the making: how you work in class, how you present yourself on and off stage, and finally, how you perform in front of an audience. Those dancers who rise to the top, win price money and prestige, and may be offered job opportunities or scholarships. Not to mention making important contacts for their future careers. It's no wonder tension and nerves run high! Some competitors are, of course, more experienced than others, and many have already secured their first or second contracts with companies. Still... Can you imagine dancing in front of a distinguished jury of notable Artistic Directors? Maina Gielgud, Nina Ananiashvili, Angel Corella, Jorma Elo, to mention a few but not all. Yesterday evening, as I watched IBC Helsinki's jury take their seats, I could feel the electricity building in the air... A ballet competition is serious art (I don't want to say business, even though ticket revenue is what keeps the boat afloat).

What then do the judges look for? I was seated two rows behind (the jury is shielded by unoccupied rows, to their front and back), and could see them scribbling down notes and whispering to each other, but I can only guess... Certainly, it has to be a combination of technique, musicality, expression, stage presence (presentation & projection), personality, artistry - relative to the dancers' age and experience. But, while technical merits are fairly easy to judge, artistry and expression is not. Sometimes, it comes down to personal preferences and tastes. That's why there are seven judges, to bring a variety of views and experiences to the table, and to balance out subjective opinions. Well, that's how I think it works, as I haven't actually talked to any of the judges... In my most humble opinion, I also believe that each judge wishes for every dancer to do well and succeed. Just like the audience does. We want everyone to feel excited and happy on stage, to give us their all, to be lifted with their grand jetés, and touched by their performance. Dance like you love it!

Yesterday evening saw the first day of First Round at IBC Helsinki. Twenty-one dancers took to the stage, 12 juniors and 9 seniors. They performed variations from Giselle, Paquita, Coppélia, Harlequinade, Raymonda, Swan Lake, La Bayadère, Don Quixote, La Fille Mal Gardée, Esmeralda, The Sleeping Beauty, Nutcracker, and Le Corsaire. Usually, the audience gets to see most variations performed more than once by different dancers, so it's easier to compare technique and interpretations. Or you can just sit back, and enjoy without looking at technical details too much. I try to do both. Glittering costumes, nerves, happy smiles, amazing jumps and turns, failed balances, disappointment, triumphant recoveries, hard work paying off, athletes, emerging artists... The excitement of it all!

Looking at the first evening of three (round one), the South Koreans rule. So Yun Park (seniors, b. 1996) was a smash hit in her gravity-defying and completely secure Paquita variation. Wonderful ballon in the exhilarating grand jeté entrance. That girl can fly! To top it off, turns like there's no tomorrow, effortless, joyful expression and a pleasure to watch. Another South Korean, Han Dahin (juniors), danced the same variations and was equally delightful without being identical. Not as impressive in the Paquita variation as Part, but I did like the softness in her fingers. Too often, energy and nerves make hands and fingers stiff or over-extended, when they should add the final touch... Of the boys, Korean Jeongmin Cheon (juniors, b. 2000) dazzled me the most. He danced a variation from Harlequinade, which is not one of my favorites, but Cheon really sold it. Incredible jump and turns, bounces like he has trampolines under his feet. And that happy smile!

Other stand-outs: Oben Yildirim (juniors, b. 1997) from Turkey. Her Paquita did not convince me, she seemed tense and lost balance... But her comeback after the intermission was impressive! Yildirim danced Esmeralda's variation with gusto and spirit, hitting those tambourines like she's never done anything else in her life. The audience loved it!

Ketlin Oja (left) and Oben Yildirim. Photography by Mirka Kleemola for IBC Helsinki.

Ketlin Oja (juniors, b. 1997), Estonia. A perfect princess in her Nutcracker variation. She reminds of a music box ballerina, blonde and delicate, with the face of a precious doll. Very precise and controlled. Sure to proceed to round two, where I'll be very interested to see her dance something different and contemporary.

Xinlun Zhan, (seniors, b. 1991), China. Certain to proceed to the Final Round. She danced Sleeping Beauty and Don Quixote variations with utmost precision, and has that perfect physicality we have come to expect from the Chinese schools. Perhaps a bit reserved/polite in her expression... I would like to see the dancer beneath the role, something that makes her unique. Having said that, her dancing came across as effortlessly elegant.

Christian Pforr (juniors, b. 1997), USA. Very promising, great jump. I liked his variation from Coppélia better than his first one from Giselle. Hope to see him in the second round, and not stress about the performance too much. Enjoy, and engage with the audience. Forget about the judges.

There were others too, lots of potential and promise. Every dancer had something special about them even if there sometimes was still an element of youthful inexperience. Ballet is hard, competitions are even harder, travel days, jet lag, new surroundings, nerves... It all takes a toll. Failed balances are understandable. Tomorrow is another day. See you on the stage, toi toi toi!

- Johanna Elina Aurava

My New Year's Dance Solutions

1. Remain curious. Be open to new ideas, suggestions and corrections.

With ballet practice relying so much on repetition, it's easy to get settled into the same old routines. But developing your muscle memory is more than going through the motions. To make exercises into dance, you have to stay awake and alert. What is it that you're really doing? Are you applying all corrections as well as you could? Do you ever question and understand the mechanics of both your weaknesses and strengths? Do you attempt to self-correct, find new ways to improve? There is a lot of excellent dance literature and dance videos for additional study. Sometimes, it's also a good idea to seek out a new studio and teacher (you don't have to abandon your old one).

2. Take care of yourself

Get enough sleep, rest and enjoy a well-balanced diet. There are degrees of fatigue: feeling tired after a long day doesn't necessarily mean a bad class, in fact it's often the opposite - you leave feeling like a new person! But if you're tired all the time, haven't recovered from previous classes, muscles are heavy and sore, and you're low on energy... Then you're setting yourself up for disaster. Your brain doesn't communicate with your body as well as it should, fun challenges turn into frustrating obstacles, your positive attitude evaporates, and you even risk injury. I've been there, but I've also learned my lesson. For example: When I get home after my Wednesday evening class, I've only one hour to get ready for bed (if I want a full 8-hours of sleep). I have to unpack my bag, pick out new stuff for Thursday morning class, shower, eat and stretch. What not to do: log onto facebook, or any other social media. I love to share, like and comment, but it's very distracting! And after that last ballet class, I'm hyper enough as it is... You know the feeling?

3. Practice good habits

Practice does not make perfect, but practice makes habits - and good habits make you a good dancer! It starts at the beginning, which is why I like to take a weekly basic class. Slow and simple exercises give me time to focus on proper placement and line, and to improve tendus, pliés and turnout. Luckily, I have a teacher who does not make it easy for me. Just because I have studied ballet for over 20 years, doesn't mean everything is super clean (technically speaking). Far from it! I'm still working to fix quite a few not-so-nice habits (the recurring banana foot, and losing my turnout in ecarté). I love going back to the basics. Sometimes, it feels like being back on solid ground. To give myself an additional challenge, I do the class often on pointe.

4. Be a fearless learner

Focus, pay attention, apply yourself - but don't worry about making mistakes! True, you might not look very graceful on your first or even fifth attempt, and you might make a complete mess out of that complex pirouette... So what? It's not a competition, not an audition. And even in auditions, artistic directors look at how well you recover from mistakes or falls - the mistake itself is not such a big deal. Don't turn a failed pirouette diagonal or a bad day into an existential crisis. Your teacher wants you to learn, to do well and enjoy yourself. She/he knows that it takes many tries, failures and a lot of work. That's why s/he keeps correcting you, not to criticize but to help you. Fear less, dance more!

5. Make it interesting

Who wants to look at a boring dancer? Dare to dance big, to challenge yourself, to go boldly where you haven't danced before. Even when it's basic class tendus, every tendu is dance. It's always movement, never dead. Ballet school robots are not interesting, expressive dancers are. This includes your face and your eyes. Dance outside your bubble and let your eyes sparkle. Express your love of dance!

6. Bring a positive attitude to class

Ballet is hard. Don't make it harder on yourself, or others (this includes both your teacher and fellow students). Of course, you're allowed to have feelings, nobody is immune to frustrations or bad days... But keep in mind that negative moods can be contagious, and dampen the joy of others. Even your teacher can be affected - and all she/he wants is to give you a great class! It's also a waste of your valuable class time. Whenever you feel a negative mood lurking, try to postpone it until after class. With the risk of sounding like a kitchen psychologist: acknowledge the feeling, put it aside and move on. You can deal it with it later on. Either you forget all about it, or realize it wasn't a problem to begin with, or you can be proud of yourself for acting positive. Having said that, there are some problems you cannot shut out of class. If you're having a difficult time, and can barely manage (but class is still respite), say something to your teacher before class. You don't have to be a perfect student all the time. It's fine to do less, it's okay to take care of yourself.

7. Cultivate a positive body image

I've struggled with this, on and off. Not having a body that is considered "beautiful for ballet", despite all my passion and hard work. In this context, "beautiful for ballet" means a physicality that is suited for a professional career - and very few people are! But when you look at facebook, instagram and pinterest, it can seem that everybody out there has that beautiful ballerina body... Except you. My body type is short, sturdy, with square shoulders, wide hips, big thighs, big hands, muscular legs. I'm almost 47, and seem to have missed the memo where it says: "Start your upper body workout now and never ever take a day off!" There are wrinkles on my body which I've not noticed before. I've gained weight, again. It does affect my body confidence in class, no use lying about it. But ballet class is not a beauty pageant! Nowhere does it say my body is not suitable or pretty enough to learn ballet and enjoy myself! How well you dance does not depend on your body shape. A beautiful dancer is not born, but made - with hard work, discipline, musicality, artistry, and passion. When I see myself in the mirror, and feel less than confident and pretty, I try to remember this. Dance is movement, stories and moods told to music... There's so much beauty, right there.

8. Be grateful, stay humble

I never take my dancing for granted. I'm grateful for every class, even the hard ones. Especially the hard ones! I'm grateful that my teacher Marie has never lost patience, nor interest. After five years, hundreds of classes and thousands of corrections, she still takes care... And that means so much to me! Also my other teachers and classes... I've had some wonderful learning experiences last year, with Ophélie, Misha, Nicholas, Jarkko, Arja, Virve, Pattie, Minttu, and Dmitry, the best pianist ever. I'm looking forward to more hard work, to new and old challenges, to many mistakes, lots of corrections, single turns and sometime triples, balances and Balanchine steps, a bit of progress and a great deal of bliss.

Wishing you all a wonderful New Dancing Year!