Get Your Face On

I'm pretty good with my port de bras. At times I have to watch out for the droopy elbows, and take care that fingers don't freeze into positions. Oh, and make sure that arms are not too high in first, and not too far back in couronne. But, all in all, I think that my port de bras is one of my stonger suits. This, however, is not the case with my port de tête. I know to look sideways when the steps call for it, or front when it's first arabesque - you know, the basic directions. But other than that, my face and eyes tend to stay too much straight ahead. It makes my dancing look static, like I'm just going through the motions.

"Present yourself!" It's perhaps the most frequent guidelines we get to hear in class - and personally speaking, one of the hardest. I get shy in front of an audience, even if it's just the teacher and my classmates watching. Not the kind of shy where I blush and retreat to the corner, but the kind that has me dancing smaller than I could. Like a wallflower, instead of a blooming rose.. I hesitate to put myself out there, to get my face on and dance full out, expressions and all. I'd rather keep my poker face, check my alignment in the mirror and smile mostly on the inside.

Somewhere along I forgot that dancing involves the entire body, literally from head to toes. Partly it's because the performing aspect is fairly new to me. Before, ballet class was something I did for myself only - in the sense that an (imaginary) audience was never part of class. I enjoyed dancing as such, and did not give much thought to what my face looked like or when and how I should tilt my head. Or how to project and present myself. But I'm getting there.

Seeing myself on video has definitely helped. After you get over the cringe-factor, it's an excellent learning experience. I could see that while my chaînés turned alright, my head was too slow to spot. It made my turning look sluggish. I could also see that the lack of port de tête makes my dancing look boring, which is not the quality I'm looking for! One of my teachers (Marie-Pierre) saw our spring show, and noted the same (the static head - not the boring aspect). Yesterday, she told me that she had planned to work on this with me, but during the long summer break kind of forgot about it (we have been focusing on other things). Anyway, we had a short chat before class about the upcoming show, and then she made me work like I was on stage already. Marie-Pierre reminded me to use my head and eyes and gave me exact directions, even through pointe class. When to tilt my head in pas de bourré, change directions, or how to present myself - not just the basic academics, but the dancing. There is so much to learn, so much to express! A subtle movement here, a big pose there. Nuances, shades and colours. Time to get my face on.

Is it Show-Time Already?

Nothing has been confirmed yet, but looks like we're going to reprise our Don Quixote -inspired dance for the school's xmas show! Yay! Now it just depends on whether we get enough of our original cast together. It's always tricky with us adults, especially right before the holidays. We have to be able to commit to additional rehearsals, and be free to dance just two days before all of Finland retreats home to spend Christmas. I know some of our "corps" has travel plans, while a few others are no longer at our school (or even in the same country). I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we get to go back on stage - I have really missed the experience!

I also hope to dance and perform better than I did last time. (Read the re-cap from our spring performance here: Ballerina for a Day.) Our teacher has already given us pre-rehearsal preparation to do: we have to rewatch the video from the spring show and rememorize our steps and positions. I remember being much too nervous to enjoy my entrance, and it shows. My piqué attitudes look like a dog trying to take a leak. It still makes me cringe, but not so bad that I can't make a joke about it! This much I've learned from my very few performing opportunities: there's always something you could have done better (and did do better in rehearsals). You might sail through the most difficult part and then screw up the easiest steps. It happens, shit happens. But as long as you keep going, it doesn't really matter. The audience wants to see you do well and have a good time on stage. You want the audience to enjoy your dance. It's a win-win situation, even if you should fall on your butt. Which I haven't done yet. Phew..

My attitudes are not the only thing that I look forward to make over. Watching that video, I keep wondering: where's my smile? I need to smile! Show some teeth! True, it's hard to flash a genuine smile when you're nervous and trying not to mess up the steps.. But maybe if I just fake it at first, it becomes natural as I dance along? I also need to work on my épaulement, it's still too "ballet class" and not enough Don Q. Gawd, the list of repairs doesn't end there. Must have a snappier head while spotting chaînés deboulés, and prettier arms when jumping. And please, not forget to point toes and stretch knees! And it wouldn't hurt to wear more eye make-up. Now, I know very well it's not going to be perfect next time around. I might have the best attitudes ever, and then be disappointed with my final grand jeté. But that's the beauty of a live one-chance-only performance. Even when you know the steps and counts, you never know at what precise moment the magic happens.

Imagine You're On Stage, In the Bolshoi..

That's what our teacher Silvia told us to do. You can pick another theatre of your liking, say La Scala or Opéra Garnier - just make it a grand one. There has to be a third row balcony, because that's as far as you need to project your stage presence! You see, it's not enough to dance to the privileged viewers in first row. You want to dance to the ballet lovers who can only afford seats in the nosebleed section! The idea of dancing in the Bolshoi theatre made us all giggle, but everyone stood immediately a little taller. We might be just a bunch of adult dancers, but we can imagine with the best of them!

Personally, I've often found my imaginary audience to be a tricky one. When I look at the mirror, I try to think there's someone behind that looking glass - but I get quickly distracted by my own reflection. Even when I assume the standard poses, head positions included, the idea of "projecting" has yet to sink in. I suppose it's because a lot of confidence is required to present yourself in such an obvious way. But that's ballet for you.

I remember when another teacher told me to look into the direction of my hands, but not at my hands. Like when your arms are up in fifth/third/couronne - they have to be in your line of vision, but without craning your head. Or when you do an allongé - the head is turned towards, but the eyes don't linger on the wrist or fingers. Simply put, elongating your lines does not stop at the body. The eyes will take you to third balcony and beyond, as far as you want to dance.

See you at the Bolshoi! ;)

Ballerina for a Day

Dear Readers, where do I even begin? It has been a whirlwind of a weekend, two fabulous and exceptionally warm summer days here in Helsinki, but me - I was more than happy to stay inside the theatre! Classes, stage rehearsals, make-ups, warm-ups, last-minute corrections, jitters and nerves, dancing, excitement and applause - all over much too soon! You get hooked on this stuff, you really do. As a recreational adult ballet dancer you are mostly "confined" to the studio, which is by no means a bad thing - but who hasn't dreamed of dancing on a real stage in front of a real audience? This past weekend that dream came true once more - and I got to be a ballerina for a day! Twice!

We started our spring show weekend with dress rehearsals. The stage is smaller than our rehearsal studio and we all had to adapt and adjust. It was tricky because there was hardly enough time to mark places and do one run-through with the music. There is this bit in Giselle's second act, where we are worshipping Myrtha: kneeling on right knee, left leg front. Your arms go down, nose to left straightened knee, arms and knee up, and cambré back. Repeat four times. I was too close to the center spot, and messing up the star formation in the process. My teacher is a woman of action, which is great, but getting dragged across the stage in my lovely beautiful wili-tutu? Not very diginified! LOL. Needless to say, I remembered my place afterwards. Our Don Quijote rehearsal was not much better. No ballerinas were harmed, but it was a bit of a mess. Not to worry- bad dress reahearsals make for better performances!

Giselle's entrance of the wilis was on Saturday, and what a fabulous day it was! After our dress rehearsal we wilis went out for some lunch; huge chapatas dripping with flavoured oil.. Hey, when you dance this much, you are hungry all the time! Whether it's chorizo sausage in my chapata or chocolate for dessert, anything goes. And for once, nothing shows. Bikini season? Bring it on! After our little feast we headed back to the theatre, it was time for make-up and putting flowers in our hair. How often do you get to write a sentence like that? In our white tulle and white flowers we looked like a bridal party, albeit one that got jilted before the wedding.. But when we finally stood in the wings, ready to step on stage, it was magic.

Not perfect, by no means, but it was wonderful. In the first performance I stumbled during a simple pas de bourrée, in the second I lost my balance in arabesque. Thank goodness my wili-partner stood her ground, otherwise we would all have tumbled like dominos! Apart from those small mishaps, everything went well though. I even got swept away and into character. Intense stuff. But it was over too soon! I want to go back on stage! And on Sunday, we did.

Our 8-minute all-levels Don Quijote-style dance was a success, in the end. The beginning, not so much. After our teacher had given us a 30-minute warm-up barre (very pro), I practiced some of the trickier parts, my entrance included. Was feeling pretty satisfied and semi-secure with my efforts. Then, right before the first diagonale: attack of the jitters! I know that dancing on the stage is different from dancing in class, nerves can get the better of you. A friend of mine once said that you leave 20% of your skill in the classroom anyway. In my case it felt more like reverse: 80% was left stranded in the studio, and 20% made sure that I still could walk if not dance on the stage.. Seriously, my glissade assemblés and piqué attitudes sucked, as did the chassé - temps levé arabesque, followed by pas de chat. No excuses here. After that sorry entrance, I figured things could only get better - and they did! Right until the end, when I nailed my solo chaînés and grand jeté!  As a group we did really well, especially after the initial nervous excitement disappeared. A friend of mine was in the audience and said that we looked like we were dancing for each other and for the audience, and enjoying every moment of it! What a happy ballet-buzz :)

From one stage to the backstage.. I have had no time to yet to recover from our spring shows, but Monday morning I reported for volunteering duty at the Helsinki International Ballet Competition! Next post: For the Love of Ballet.

From Wilis to Almost-Kitris - It's Showtime!

After last week's near-collapse at the end of pointe class, I'm back full force! I almost got a little worried after that incident, it was the first time I had ran out of steam mid-way through our routine. We had just marked the choreography (very cool Forsythe-style) to refresh our memories, and it was the first full-out dance of the class - but already too much for me. I had to step aside and out of the way. That or stumbling over my own two feet, or even worse, fainting/puking right there and then. Gave my teacher Marie-Pierre a bit of a scare, she thought I had injured myself. But I was just exhausted, and needed nothing more than to rest and sit out the remainder of the class (only 10 minutes left). Which, admittedly, was the second time in five days. Seriously, I do not recommend taking three ballet classes in one day, not when you're still recovering from a cold. I had rested for a full three days, and two more would have been advisable, but I'm kind of stubborn like that. Before you scold me (I know I deserve it), I was fine already the next day. Had a great class on Thursday, an even better two classes on Friday, rehearsal on Saturday and a very awesome triple-set yesterday. Crisis averted. :)

Come to think of it, I seem to get a cold every time we start to rehearse for our spring recitals. It has never stopped me from taking part, but it is really annoying. Luckily we still have a full month before the show, so I can practice and take class without having to hold back. At least my timing doesn't suck. Can you imagine getting sick on the eve of your performance, especially when there's only one show each year? This year there's the added excitement of two dances, the small bit from Giselle I wrote about earlier, and a big group number. The latter is an eight minutes long mini-ballet for a corps of 18 ballerinas and one danseur. The music is from Minkus, and the choreography is from.. wait for it.. Don Quixote!

Of course it is a modified compilation of the original, we are not professional dancers or pre-pro students (though a few of the younger girls have had vocational training and are very good). Our "company" is put together from all levels, basic through advanced and ages nineteen to forty-ish. Most of us are dancing together for the first time. Some have never performed, while others have been on stage since pre-school. Me, I'm hardly a veteran, despite being the oldest of the gang. I have danced in front of a real audience for only six times. Then again, those times took place in the last three years and not in early childhood. Memories and experiences are fresh, the theatre is familiar and I'm in better shape than ever. I still get very nervous, though..

Last Saturday was our first group rehearsal. Our teacher Gabriella gave us The Talk, about how everyone is equally important - even when you're standing in line while someone else gets to dance two eight-counts more than you do. She is right of course. Our ballet starts with eight dancers (I think) lined up in diagonale. They do a set of temps lié arabesque, chassé and soutenu turns four or six times. I'm still fuzzy on the counts.. This first group consists of the basic and advanced beginner levels. After they complete the opening steps and move to form lines left and right, the first of three trios comes in. I'm with the second pas de trois, the intermediate gang.

Don't worry, I'm not going to write down the entire choreography.. But in case you're interested that much, my trio's first diagonale consists of glissade - assemblé ecarté - piqué attitude (efface), times three, change direction, chassé - temps levé arabesque - glissade - pas de chat, finishing down-stage right. Every group has its own entrance. After the final trio enters and takes its place, all of us dance together before changing formations again. And so forth.. I might give you more details in my next rehearsal-post, if you like. Or even if you don't like. ;)

The video below is for inspiration. I chose this particular excerpt because at 5:06 the ballerinas are doing he same jump we are - and this one was totally new for me! It's like a small grand jeté, except you jump without prep and the back leg is in attitude. In our version we are doing six, with quick pas de bourrées in-between and changing directions for every saut. It's quick and tricky and I'm still working on it.

All in all, our dance is really fun and energetic, and I think it will be a big crowd-pleaser. There are Spanish influences (in the style of Don Quixote), hand-clapping and finger-snapping, quick steps and big jumps and we even have our own matador.. What's not to like?

Jilted, Dead and Haunting - It's Showtime!

We started our spring show rehearsals last Friday - and not a day too soon, might I add. The performance is in five weeks, which unfortunately does not equal five weeks worth of rehersals. But then we would be dancing in some Fancy Company, and not in our dance school's spring recital. To be fair, more time was planned. We were supposed to start as early as February/March, but then there were circumstances which could not be helped. Still, better late than never. In addition to our regular classes (which are reserved for technique practice), we get to rehearse the choreography every Saturday for two hours, right until the final weekend of May when it's showtime. Am I excited? You bet!

This spring recital marks a sweet premiere for me. It's my first time in pointe shoes, on stage. After practicing pointe technique for approximately a year and half, I finally get to take my babies to the ball! The party lasts only for two and a half minutes (not men), but.. it's Giselle! The first ballet I ever saw performed live! I was twelve years old and thought it the most beautiful thing ever. And now I get to be one of the wilis [insert sigh of happiness]. Pointe-wise it's not a difficult piece, there are some bourrées couru/suivi, a few pas de bourrées and a nice set of piqués with battements double. I kind of wish there could have been a little more pointe technique, but I know what feels "easy" in class turns into a challenge on stage. What am I saying? It's Giselle, for crying out loud! Sigh..

There are many versions, and subtle differences especially in the port de bras - but this version below comes pretty close to ours. There are only eight of us, which lessens the corps de ballet effect somewhat, but it's a nice group to dance with. Our bit starts at 0:12 and ends at 2:50.



Oh, I should mention that this is not the only piece in which I get to perform.. But I tell you more about that in my next post! :)

The List

Wrote my name on the spring-recital list. It's an open call, no-audition, come as you are kind of list. From basic levels to advanced, everyone who is willing gets to participate - which is not at all that common for adult dancers. Usually it's the kids and the teens, and the pre-professionals and then the pros who get to have all the fun on stage. And yes, the pres and pro ballerinas work damn hard for it! But why should us adults be excluded? If you have a committed group and choreograph according to ability, you can put a fine number on stage. Something that both dancers and audience can enjoy!

Sadly, I know of teachers who think recreational adult ballet dancers should be confined to the studio. Maybe they fear the cringe-worthy, maybe they think we are a bunch of wannabes, ready to turn our beloved ballet into travesty, a big joke. They are wrong. You don't have to be a cute little thing in her first tutu, nor a gifted teen or a former semi-pro. Like I said, committed and dedicated adults are quite capable of forming lines and groups and of repeating on stage what they have learned in class so far. Whether that would consist of simple temps levés, glissades and pas de chats or bourrées, brisés and grand jetés. Performing is an essential part of learning ballet, as ballet is obviously a performing art. Rehearsals alone offer a wealth of learning experiences. How to memorize steps, even if you have to change placements, working and dancing together, pacing yourself so you will survive the 1.5 - 4 minutes on stage.

And then comes the performance itself! Getting ready, helping each other out with make-up and hair-spraying buns and fixing costumes, then the last warm-ups, group-hugs, waiting in the wings for the cue. Lights out, take your place, breath in and all the jitters out. Lights on, music - and you dance! It's a big head-rush and a happy buzz and then over, much too soon! The audience applauds.. and that's what it's all about. Sharing the joy of dance.

My name is on that list now, waiting, anticipating.. We do not know yet what our teacher has in store for us. It will be a big group number, with all levels on stage together. There might be solos, certainly pas de trois, different entrances, lines and patterns - and it's going to be such much fun! In previous years our dances have been inspired by Coppélia and Swan Lake, with recognizable steps and elements but modified to our skills. I have really no clue where this year's inspiration comes from - maybe Don Quijote or Giselle? Or perhaps Paquita? I will keep you posted!